Sitting here, having coffee…. ☕️ Hubby thought I went to bed too late working and didn’t get me up! He had good intentions, he wanted me to get some rest…But the truth is, I’ve never missed my son’s first day of school, ever! Hubby’s response: he’s not a baby anymore! So I wanted to share that teen parenting moment with you today!
That statement struck me, so hard that I wanted to share what missing my son’s first day of school taught me.
Picture this: I sat at my desk, having coffee missing the time when my son was little, when he enjoyed taking back to school pictures…a time I can never bring back. Thinking about it made me ask the question: why would I want that time back? Because I am not happy with the current teen parenting season….
Missing his first day of school was for me an eye opening experience, telling me that I need to embrace this new season in his life and enjoy the ride alongside with him, helping and supporting him in any way I can!
That was yesterday … Today was his first full day so I took a back to school picture and gave him a HUGE HUG! Wished him a happy day!
But yesterday will never be forgotten.
Not because I don’t forgive my husband for not waking me up, but because I think something finally clicked! Pushing me to understand that my son is all grown up and that I need to change the way I see him to help him in this new season of his life!
Loving him doesn’t mean holding on to something in the past! Yes, I said it!
I am starting to understand that moving on as a teenage parent doesn’t mean loving him less, it means loving him more!
Yes! Because only love helps you cope with mood swings, computer long hours, endless silence, acne, snapchat, him not wanting to go out and do things with us and needing some space.
Being a parent, at all seasons, should be about embracing the present and doing the best that we can.
Missing that first day made me realize that…
This is a new season for my son, as it is for so many teens and it is our job to stop fighting and start embracing it, offering help along the way; being there doesn’t equal controlling, being there means guiding the ride, showing that life is about making choices and the consequences will dictate the outcome.
We had a long talk over the weekend regarding his basketball goals, how much effort he’s putting into it and school in general. Part of our guiding plan, showing him it’s up to him to make those decisions, that we’re here to support him either way, but there will be consequences. Each path leads to a different direction, but it’s up to him to choose.
I’m not saying we figured things out. Not even saying I completely stopped babying my son, it will be a process. But I AM saying yesterday made me wake up to a new season and I’m ready to embrace it~
How was your child’s first day? Do you have teens? How do you deal with the fact that you can’t hold them close to you forever??? Do you have the same struggles? More on my parenting journey: HERE.
Can’t wait to hear what you think! As usual, give us a Trendy Shout!
This is a good read. I hope I could experience that emotions too when I got my own kid.
Next year my elder boy will be going to standard 1 , I can see him is ready to start his new learning environment at the new school. Hope everything will be goes well.
I don’t have kids (yet) so never witnessed a day at school but as far as I remember both my parents were working so they were not there. But you’re right, we were all grown up so we could do it all on our own.
Aaaw! This is so touching. You surely miss your son but since change is inevitable, it’s great that he’s growing into his teenage hood. So, just support him and recall all good memories you had to feel better.
Thanks insightful and very beautiful of this sharing. It’s truly a new adventure to know that our child is growing up everyday. My son starts school next year so I’m also excited and sad as well… My baby is growing up so fast
Embracing the seasons is so important. Our kiddos grow up so fast. Even though they may not be into back to school pictures as much as we are, they’ll go along the ride and remember those moments fondly once they are adults.
Claudia,
What a beautifully written sentiment. Thank you for sharing what I believe most parents experience with the ever changing needs of our children. Hugs
I’ve never missed a first day of school either. I’m sure it will happen eventually, but until then, I can’t imagine it.
Fathers don’t perceive certain things like mothers … that’s why he wanted you to sleep a bit longer! 😉 That’s true that parents should take part in their children’s important moments, as they can never come back to yesterday and experience them again if they miss them once. Kids will also appreciate parents’ engagement in their lives. 🙂
My daughters growing so fast and I love to be there to guide them along the way. Time flying, it’s makes me not way to miss a moment.
This post resonated with me SO much! I’m in the same position and having a really hard time remembering that he is almost an adult and things need to change on my end. Maybe we can start a support group! LOL
Beautiful expression…let the kids learn and grow….parents can just guide..suggest but must stop tutoring for sure .
God bless you
I don’t have children of my own but I would imagine that missing the first day of school would feel incredibly sad. There are only so many of those days available. Although, I do think it was incredibly kind for your husband to let you get some rest. I love those days (when a milestone isn’t involved)
U looks so young.. ur boy gonna enjoy himself in the school! must go thru kind of life experience.. hehehe
I don’t have kids – but I imagine that I would feel the same way if I did. I will see when I have kids. Also, you two look so much alike 🙂
I was just talking with my boss about how different the first day of school is for working moms vs. stay at home moms. It is also going to be so different for my last baby starting her first day of school the same day my oldest starts high school.
Love this. I feel you. My daughter left for college and it was a roller coaster of emotion for me. Time flies, really!
Just wait until he is away at college. Enjoy these firsts while you have them as they get farther away. I just enjoy the birth of my first grandchild and it was an awesome first.
My nephew is years away from being a teen. He can hardly speak yet, but I somehow understand how you feel. It can be difficult to let go and see children in a different light once they’ve grown up. 🙂 I wish you well, Claudia!
Don’t have kids yet, but I will surely keep in mind, to not miss their 1st day.
Mine isn’t a teen but I already feel like time is going so fast and he is growing too quickly!
I totally feel you. My son is 14 and just started grade 9. We just moved to a new, bigger city and he is no longer eligible to take a bus. So I am driving him. He used to give me hugs when I dropped him off but now that’s not happening. I too have realized that this is a new stage in his life and I can’t baby him as much anymore. I didn’t have the same issue with my daughter at that age. But now she’s turning 20 and didn’t move with us. We are now living 5.5 hours away from her. That was a whole other journey of learning to let go.
Aw! My son is a teen, and he might be older, but I always want to know what he’s doing. It probably drives him nuts, but I don’t care. I also have a tween daughter who obliges me by taking first day of school photos.
I don’t have kids, but can imagine your situation! It’s awesome that you learned from it – that was a great story to read!
My oldest started Kindergarten this year, and I feel like I am going to blink and she will be grown! We are all moving into different seasons in our motherhood journey!
I feel like I will always try my hardest to take back to school pics for my kids because it would bother me to not. I totally get that as kids get older dynamics do change though. I would not want any more regrets than I already have.
I am trying to enjoy each stage of my children’s lives. I really love the baby days, but trying to enjoy every moment of them growing up because I know it will be over far to soon.
I am learning to enjoy every stage of parenting. I do love the baby days, but trying to love each stage, so I don’t have regrets later.
This is a sad process for some parents, as some kids probably don’t want their parents to dote over them over the first day of school. I think once the kids become parents, do they realize just how important that 1st day of school is to moms.
I love this message so much. I think too many of us parents – myself included – hold on to periods that are just over. They’re gone. My kids don’t need the snuggles they used to. They don’t come to me for every little thing. That’s okay. If they did, I wouldn’t be doing my job.
I love this! I am thinking of how I can even apply this to the differences my daughter is noticing in my son. Now that he’s in middle school, he is starting to show interest in some of the things middle school kids do. He likes taking the “late bus” home so he can hang out at school for clubs or homework and social time. I think he is liking the freedom he gained in middle school and my daughter sees him “growing up”. When she mentioned that, I also noticed it. My daughter is wise, and I love learning from her. But I also love seeing the changes in my children. Watching them doing what we did, they watched us. They are mimicking us, so we also have to make sure we are making wise choices in front of them.
I know Lucas will enjoy the high school years. But try to capture every moment you can on camera! They grow too fast.