This post has been brought to you in partnership with T-Mobile, but as usual, all opinions are my own.
Looking at the smiles above, you almost won’t believe the story I’m about to tell. I’ve been hesitant to share the deeply personal story of my family’s mental health journey. Today I’m going to talk about my son’s mental health struggles since Covid, hoping to help other families and Stop The Mental Health Stigma.
Stop The Mental Health Stigma
My son, a happy, cheerful, smart teen asked us to help find him professional help after struggling with his mental health a few years ago. The request shocked us – me in particular.
Though I always knew my son to be a happy easy-going child, I suddenly noticed his demeanor becoming hostile. This was after a number of personal disappointments he encountered at school and with his sports team. When COVID hit and lockdowns started, my son had the added hardship of switching schools, and it caused a snowball effect on his already delicate state of mind. He was exhibiting signs of depression and severe anxiety.
It is a long story, but I really want to emphasize the importance of not neglecting someone’s needs or mental health state and looking for professional help.
Covid delayed the process, combined with my disbelief that my happy, precious son could even have something like depression.
Though therapy has been so important, it’s not an easy road. It’s a journey filled with both ups and downs during treatment.
I commend my son for being brave enough to ask for help, but I think it’s important to be honest that it also is hard as a mother to see their child struggle. There have been times when I think he doesn’t see all the love I have for him.
These are just some parts of our story. We’re still on the journey to heal as a family.
While it was difficult to hear him admit he thought he needed help and my love wasn’t enough, I’m so grateful he shared his feelings with us, otherwise I would never have known that he experienced such extreme suffering.
The seemingly happy, cheerful boy was hurting and was experiencing intensely dark periods in his life due to social issues. I often ask myself how things changed so drastically, and it’s been a difficult journey for me to even understand at times.
We (my husband and I) were completely unaware of what was going on. We didn’t see the signs, I only saw the son I always thought of him as, and he has said that was difficult for him as well.
I’ve lived my life as a mother, working 40+ hours/week to keep him in private school, sports, piano lessons and choir and all that he manifested interest in.
My husband and I always went above and beyond to support my son’s dreams, giving him all that we could to make sure he had the best opportunities. I think it’s easy for parents to think these are the things that equate happiness. But mental health does not always work that way.
It’s easy to criticize myself in retrospect. Looking back, I wish I had been less of a helicopter mom, less busy doing things and paid more attention to his feelings and what was going on with him.
But we’re moving on with the healing process, not trying to blame ourselves and trying instead to find a way to support his future happiness and understand his healing journey. What I know now is that we need to help him just by staying by his side, letting him find his peace and path to happiness, along with the professionals who continue to support him.
Trust me, if it happened in our family, it can happen with anyone.
That is why I want to use my space and my story to raise awareness in May, during Mental Health Month, hoping to help families break the stigma, pay closer attention to their kids and seek help and healing, if needed, to support loved ones. Since going through our journey, I have learned about so many who weren’t as lucky as us in terms of finding the resources needed for those who are struggling.
This is why I was so affected by a story about a T-Mobile Employee I recently read about who is in charge of communicating how the company is mobilizing for communities during times of crises. Those crises aren’t just physical ones like natural disasters, but personal mental health crises as well. It was heartbreaking to read about how the loss of her brother to suicide after his long struggle with depression made her so devoted to getting the word out about something called the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Have you ever heard about it?
You can check out her video testimonial here:
Something she said in her interview really resonated with me:“They say grief after loss never goes away, right? Four years later, I’m still trying to find ways to cope with that grief. But getting stronger at handling it over time.”
Today besides sharing my story, I am joining forces with T-Mobile to share this important resource:
Did you now that in 2020, T-Mobile became the first major wireless provider to make the 988 emergency lifeline immediately available to its customers, which offers real-time mental health services? Calling 988 connects customers to free mental health services from professionally trained counselors at the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, now the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
In 2022, T-Mobile announced that those customers can also text for that same critical support, too.
Studies show that those who reached out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline were significantly more likely to feel less depressed, less suicidal, less overwhelmed and more hopeful after speaking with a counselor. This service, available to any T-Mobile, Sprint, Metro by T-Mobile and Assurance Wireless customer, removes barriers to accessing help.
Let’s together share this great resource, which can potentially save a life!
Save for later:
I can’t wait to hear what you think about my story and the resource we shared to help Stop The Mental Health Stigma.
As usual, give us a Trendy Shout!
That’s awesome to always have a way to heal. Instead of making worse, find a way to fix it ad deal with it.
Yes the same thing happened to me, my teen was so quiet and polite, I didn’t know all the mental health issues she was struggling with.
Thank you for sharing this personal experience with us. I bet it wasn’t easy. It’s hard to comment on this kind of post with such a delicate subject. I personally hold myself responsible for every mistake and flaw that my kids have or will have in the future. Hope your son gets better! And both of you with him…
I think it is so important to ask for help and it’s great that your son did that. Too many people suffer in silence or don’t want to talk to people about how they’re feeling x
TIme to stop the mental health stigma. We need to educate ourselves and others.
Thanks for your post. Talking about such experiences is a brave thing to do. We need more posts like this to help us empower underserved communities.
Teens are so prone to mental health problems, actually not, all ages. And we all are just starting to realize that now. I myself try to keep up with my teens, and it’s so difficult to read them, I just pray that we as parents will be able to give them the love they need and the support if ever they feel any problems, and not keep them from us.
I understand where you’re coming from as a mother helping a child with mental health issues. My younger son, age 8, has been dealing with anxiety and ADHD for a couple of years now. As you said, getting help and working through it as a family is essential!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I agree, the stigma must stop. It could happen to anyone!
It really is important to focus on mental health as much as our other aspects of health. So good to break the mental health stigma and also use tools for support.
Thank you for talking openly about mental health. Social media has become a great space for positivity for me as long as I follow the right people.
This is definitely an important topic to discuss openly so kids feel comfortable speaking up! I am happy to see it is more openly discusses now than in the past decades.
Wwwoowwww…well done T-Mobile for availing that resource! So many people and not just their clients really need and someone to talk with! Kudos!
I am so, so happy your son took it upon himself to recognize the symptoms and seek help. That’s so important. Mental health needs to be addressed and spoken about freely so we can help one another and no one needs to suffer alone. Beautiful post and I hope your son is doing well!
This is such an important topic and message. Thanks for sharing and helping others with your experience.
-Lisa
@occasionallyluxe | http://www.occasionallyluxe.com
Fabulous post educating people about mental health! Sharing your own story and personal situation is very special and I am sure that you will help others through doing so so good on you xx
There are so many going through issues on their own. It’s not always obvious at first. It helps when parents are supportive. Not all are.
Mental health stigma is something that is getting better but still needs work. I agree more needs to be done.
I am so, so pleased that you both took his mental health seriously. Growing up, it wasn’t heard of. Even when my parents did get me help, I was shamed for it. You’re doing an amazing job being there for him!
I think the younger generation do talk about mental health. My daughter and her friends discuss it and together support each other
I agree. As a parent it is so hard to see your child go through mental health problems. I totally encourage everybody to speak up and I am glad your son did.
I just finished reading this powerful post about stopping the mental health stigma, and it really hit home for me. As a wife, mom, and woman, it’s so important to address and prioritize mental health.
Yes, you need to pay attention to your kids and watch for changes in behavior. Even more important, parents need to show tolerance, patience, etc so that kids feel comfortable telling you what is wrong. I say that because, growing up, I knew far too many parents (my own included) who would have strongly overreacted if their kids told them they had mental health issues. Kids know if they have intolerant, unreasonable parents, and they will keep things bottled up if they do, often until it is too late.
I really love this post, I am absolutely agree with this. As a parent it’s important to pay attention to this kind of important things
I agree, I see so many teenagers struggle. Sometimes they have great supportive parents and other times, you wish their parents were more understanding.